Crustless Sandwiches Will Destroy America

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Crustless Sandwiches Will Destroy America

Angry Ukrainian Mob Throws Politician Into A Dumpster

An angry mob was waiting outside of Ukraine’s parliament today, and they were not playing games. When they spotted Economic Development Party member Vitaly Zhuravsky leaving the building, they grabbed him and threw his ass right into a dumpster. Read more… Continue reading

Boeing and SpaceX Will Share NASA’s $6.8 Billion Space Taxi Program

NASA just announced a critical component of Launch America, the country’s highly anticipated next chapter in human spaceflight. Continue reading

Jameis Winston Yells “Fuck Her Right In The Pussy,” Killing Meme

Florida State quarterback Jameis Winston stood on a table and yelled “fuck her right in the pussy” on campus today, according to a bunch of students who saw him. For the unaware, “Fuck her right in the pussy” was a fake video that turned into a meme, with a few people shouting it on live news broadcasts . Continue reading

Tony Stewart’s Case Will Go To A Grand Jury

The Ontario County (N.Y.) District Attorney announced today that a grand jury will determine whether to bring charges against Tony Stewart, who fatally struck Kevin Ward Jr. with his car on Aug Continue reading

The Eagles Know How To Use Darren Sproles

LeSean McCoy had a perfectly fine game against the Colts, pulling off a few jukes in open space that left jockstraps all over Lucas Oil Stadium, but the best Eagles running back last night was Darren Sproles. He made everyone wonder why the Saints let him go for a fifth-rounder Continue reading

I’m Giants Offensive Lineman Geoff Schwartz. Ask Me Stuff.

Geoff Schwartz is a six-year NFL veteran who currently plays guard for the New York Giants. Continue reading

Forget Kent State. What Will Urban Outfitters Come Up With Next?

Yesterday, Urban Outfitters pulled a bloody Kent State sweatshirt from its website. What other products would they have put forward if no one had noticed? Sarah Miller imagines a made-up memo from headquarters. Continue reading

Will The Elite NFL Media Still Be Stooges After The Ray Rice Scandal?

The longtime agent and I were talking about NFL reporters and professional lapses. I said, “I guess you see lapses—” Read more… Continue reading

Magnetic Amazon Headphones, Bluetooth for Anything [Deals]

Amazon’s in-house magnetic earbuds are actually pretty great , and luckily, you don’t have to buy a Fire Phone to get them. Continue reading